mischief assignment

We have our first mischief assignment, it could work for any designer clothes store - or even ikea if you had enough willing space monkeys!

Go to an Abercrombie & Fitch store, and count up all the employees there. Go in the next day with several other people, and beat the hell out of everyone who works there before they open, and throw them all in a back room.
Put on their little uniforms, and all that shit, and then start working the shop. Don't take any money, or any clothes, just man the registers.
When someone comes inand wants to buy something, just tell them that Abercrombie & Fitch sucks, and that everyone who buys them are conformist sons of bitches, and should be covered in gasoline and lit on fire. If they still want to buy the clothes simply say "Sorry, we're closed," and then ignore them. Eventually they'll leave.
Do this, under the regular working hours, for about a week or two, and then walk into the back where all the old employees are, dehydrated and hungry, and make sure that they can't move or scream for help. Next, hang up the "Closed" sign in the window, pull the little metal security things, and walk away.

thanks to elliott for his homework. keep them coming!

Our second mischief assignment is small yet effective!


Late at night (4:00 am is good)go to the local court house and glue small sheets of metal over all the key holes with super glue.


thanks to paraprax for this gem.

This assignment will teach people that someday they will die! Until they realise they're own mortaility they cannot truely be free!

Go to the store and by some Icy-Hot or another cream that feels warm on contact. Now place some of this stuff on the the receiver part of various payphones in the mall or around town. The key part comes with a little note you will leave taped to the phone stating "You have just touched a highly toxic poison that is currently running through you body. you have approximately 30 mins before this kills you, unless you get to a hospital in time. Have a nice day!" The heat from the cream will make them believe they have been infected w/ something. Watch the panic ensue.
thanks to Ed


This is a must for any space monkey!

First, get some weed killer or grass killer (available almost anywhere). Now during the night--either by yourself or with friends--travel to various locations in the city and spray blurbs onto their lawns (haikus, catch phrases, or juvenile vulgarities if nothing else). By the time the sun rises on the lawn, your contribution will be forever molded into their landscape. From what I know, the only way to fix this is to destroy the whole lawn, a double plus.

give it a go, remember to be creative with your phrases.

I like this assignment, don't forget You are not your religion!

I recently sent in a homework assignment about super gluing Bibles to the backs of pews in a church. Well, I was thinking about it, and it seemed somehow lacking, so I thought of two ways to improve it (both of which are somewhat similar)... 1.)Instead of super gluing the Bibles, replace them with copies of the Torah (or some other religious holy book). Or... 2.)Replace the Bibles with copies of "Fight Club". The problem with this, of course, is that it risks getting our good pal Chuck Palahniuk in trouble. And we wouldn't want that.

cheers Dan

I say fuck golf, I say you are not your £700 Wilsons!

Go to your local home improvement store and buy five one-pound bags of rapid set cement. Mix the cement with the required amount of water and then fill up to 10 individual Ziploc bags with the mixture. Go to your local golf course at night and fill every golf hole you can with the stuff. I pefer to make little signs and set them in the cement before it drys saying, 'Asphalt for Assholes' or 'You are NOT Tiger Woods'. If your'e real balsy, do this on a Saturday afternoon

Thanks Marathonman.

If you try this remember to cover the car in Fight Club quotes!

This is one where you either have to have an old piece of shit car, or the balls and know how to steal a car. Find a McDonalds or a Burger King that has a drive through. Park the car in it and disable the car in any way possible (slash tires, stuff up ignition barrel, and best of all chain and securily lock the wheels in place with bolt cutter proof locks, which are the round padlocks). If done well enough the vehicle shouldn't be able to be towed out, and they'll have to bring in a crane, seriously disturbing business. This was done in New Zealand to great effect, as any attempt to drag the car out was digging big cuts into the pavement.

Cheers Arran

You are not the car you drive.

1. Buy some pepporoni pepporoni.
2. Find a really nice car or just the car of someone you hate
3.Prepare to do some micheif in the middle of the night.
4.Put the slices of cold pepporoni on the painted portion of the car in the shape of your choice, (be creative.)
5.By the time the morning comes the owner will pull off the pepporoni slices.
6.The paint will peel off of the car in the shape you put the pepporoni in.

Thanks to Grape9085 for this one.

This sounds good. You are not your leather interior! This is a wonderful way to destroy the interior of a car. Although it is a little hard to pull off. Freeze a can of shaving cream. Cut it open and inside will be a little white stick. It is the compressed shaving cream. You don't have long, so you have to hurry. Take it to a car and put it in. Thats the tricky part. if you put it under the seat, no one will see it. Come back a few hours later, and the shaving cream will have filled the whole car. Works wonders on leather. If the car is sealed, it will blow out the windows as well. Bonus.

Thanks for the great idea Brand

You are not your dorm room!

Get into a college dorm around two in the morning, prefferably on a weeknight so everyone will be asleep. It has to be one of those dorms with the communal bathrooms. Turn all the showers onto extreme hot and leave all the doors open. When students wake up in the morning, all the posters or flyers in the halls will be warped, and everyone with dry-erase message boreds will have their messages erased. There will be no finger prints, no evidence of any kind. For extra points, open all the doors in the hall that aren't locked and everyone's books will be warped too. At absolutle least, there will be fog and mildew everywhere.

Thank you Justin Game

Due to the sheer amount of Homework assignments we get and the amount of work involved in processing and distributing them, we have decided it would be easier for all of us if all homework assignments were posted on the discussion board.

To all the space monkeys who sent assignments in, we're are very grateful and would like to thank you for your support.